100-year book club 1915: The Metamorphosis – a dating profile for Gregor Samsa

UnknownGregor from Prague


Occupation: Formerly a travelling salesman. Temporarily unemployed

Height: About 100cm when fully upright. I’m all legs.

Self-defining song lyric: “I woke up like this”

Wants Kids: Yes. Though adoption will perhaps be necessary.

My self-summary:

I’m a fun-loving, hard-working guy who has recently gone through some major life changes. If you love superheroes like Spiderman, then I’m exactly what you’re looking for.

Other than appearance, what is the first thing people notice about you? 

People being as they are, often get fixated on my appearance. So caught up are they in their urge to vomit or flee, they rarely get past my looks. I’m looking for a lady who can look past my hard shell.

How do you typically spend your leisure time?

Life in Prague has been a bit of a snore recently. I’m simply climbing the walls looking for some excitement!

The most private thing I’m willing to admit: 

I still live with my parents and don’t get out very much. Don’t be put off though – I have my own room and my parents never come in there.

What’s the most important thing you’re looking for in another person?

I’m just looking for anyone to love me and bring me rancid meat but I think I’m best suited for someone with poor olfactory senses. And perhaps poor vision.


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