I love weddings! Last weekend I attended the wedding of my oldest friend. We laughed, we cried, we ate, we drank, we danced. Perfect. But not all nuptials are created equal. I once attended the wedding of a coworker who, days before the ceremony, hung up on his fiancé and declared to me “I hate that bitch.”
At another wedding, the groom had been caught having a six-month affair with a teenage restaurant hostess the week before his big day. They decided to go through with the marriage and there were a lot of uncomfortable glances across the aisle that day.
I’m leaving today for a destination wedding. Destination weddings are awful enough (they’re never anywhere you actually want to go) but this one in particular is going to be awful. So to gear myself up, I’m listing books with weddings even more awful than the one that lies ahead of me.
There’s a reason that “speak now or forever hold your peace” line has gone out of fashion. Because if we’re being honest, there’s always an impediment, isn’t there?
The Age of Innocence
Loveless marriage? One of the best kinds of bad weddings.
Do we talk about this book too much? The massive marketing campaign for the recent film has kept it top of mind and even if Nick and Amy’s wedding went smoothly, everything that came after did not.
We couldn’t forget fiction’s most famous left at the altar story, could we?
A Song of Fire and Ice
And Miss Havisham thought she had it bad. George R. R. Martin is rarely kind to brides and grooms but the red wedding really takes the (wedding) cake.